What Modelling Taught Me

I started modelling when I was about fifteen/sixteen (relatively young if I look back at it now); I didn't know very much about the fashion industry, so I felt like I was thrown into the deep end. 

I remember running around the first time in Paris with my dad to visit various agencies. I slipped into my high heels on the street, while he was holding my sneakers and waited for me downstairs. 

Modelling came with many blessings, experiences, adventures but also challenges, which were not always easy to overcome (especially at that young age where I didn't even know who I was). 

These challenges took an enormous part in my growth process and taught me valuable lessons that I would like to share.

Modelling is not who I am 

I am not a model; modelling is something I do… it's not WHO I AM. 

Often I observed myself how modelling affected my mood and the way I felt about myself, which was quite depressing.

I clung my self-worth to modelling and therefore gave it too much power over me. I bound my feeling and mood up to my work, which made it an emotional rollercoaster.

I realized that identifying myself and trying to find myself through modelling (or anything else that I do) didn't work and wasn't the answer.

Which eventually lead me to another path: to look inward. 

"Who am I? ", "What do I like? ", "What do I wish for myself? ", "What brings me joy? ", "Where do I see myself? "

I've been on that self-exploration journey for a few years now, which was a game-changer. It increased my overall awareness and filled my life with more meaning. 

I needed to distance myself from modelling and see it for what it is: It's a temporary gift to work as a model, and I can use it as a tool to support me, connect me with creative people and explore the world.

Never give up 

As a Model, I had to get used to being criticized, judged and rejected daily. I always had to recreate my belief in myself. 

There were moments where I wanted a job so badly but didn't get it, which left me with a feeling of disappointment and being a failure. It triggered beliefs like "I am not good enough ", "I am not beautiful enough "or "I am not worth this job. " 

Modelling triggered me to doubt myself, my beauty, my abilities, my self-worth, and this doesn't count only for me.

I have seen countless beautiful girls with beautiful skin, hair and body's… blessed with their appearance, where an outside person would think: "They've got it all. " 

Well, I have seen many of these girls being depressed and doubt themselves; they didn't shine. People might think models are super confident (arrogance is another stereotype), but they often struggle with insecurities. 

Cameron Russell (a successful model who walked shows like Victoria's Secret), said in her Ted talk "Looks aren't everything. Believe me, I'm a model" that she feels Insecure!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KM4Xe6Dlp0Y

"Rejection "is a natural part of the fashion industry, and you can either let it break you or built you up. 

I learnt through that process to take nothing personal!

Don't get me wrong, I still take things personally, and it's easier said than done, but I realized the importance of constant practice to let go of the habit of taking things personally. Why? It's the best and healthiest way to respond; it protects me from overthinking and holds space for a feeling of peace. 

Over time, I've learnt that I have the power of choice: "Do I want to give my power away and let other people define my self-worth? ", "How I feel about myself? ", "What's possible for me? "(This also counts for everyday life and every person I encounter with not just modeling).

I have to meet myself with kindness, show up for myself, built myself up, give myself the validation and appreciation that I wish.

Acceptance 

Eckhart Tolle said in his book "A New Earth ": "Performing an action in the state of acceptance means you are at peace while you do it. That peace is a subtle energy vibration which then flows into what you do. "

A job didn't confirm, and things didn't go the way I wanted them to go, my expectations aren't met… I can either be upset about it (which doesn't serve a purpose and will eventually hurt me even more) or practice to accept what is in front of me and go from there. 

It doesn't necessarily mean that I agree with, appreciate or am happy about what has happened, but acceptance opens the door to let go and trust that something else awaits me.

Yoga, meditation, reading books (highly recommend "A New Earth "by Eckhart Tolle) taught me a conscious way to respond, and it is still a daily practice.

It helps me to feel more peaceful, content and happy regardless of the circumstances.

Follow your own path

Travelling on my own, meeting people from different backgrounds, having all kind of professions showed me that there is not only one way, but there is also no right or wrong… there is only YOUR way. 

Modelling and travelling on my own gave me a lot of freedom to discover and explore myself. It helped me to broaden my horizon and changed my perspective. 

It also taught me that everything is interconnected (people, places, events in life), and all the experiences moved me from one place to another. 

Growing up in an industry which is mainly superficial and can often feel quite empty lead me to discover yoga (first when I went to Sydney for work), which provided me with a deeper meaning in my life. 

Yoga helped me to deeper connection to myself, look inward and get in touch with myself. 

One thing that I've discovered is that nothing external will ever solve anything that is going on inside! 

My life is maybe not considered to be "the norm ", but I chose for myself to build a meaningful life, follow my feeling, look within and follow my path. 

I believe that everything is here to teach us and no matter which profession you are in or what you are doing in your life, it's all an invitation to learn and grow if you let it.

My friend once told me "Wisdom differs from knowledge; wisdom is what you learn out of an experience. "

P.S. Don't be too hard on yourself (It's my daily challenge) ;)