Love and Accept Yourself

I recently had an experience that challenged me and triggered my insecurities, I saw pictures of myself from a photoshoot which made me feel uncomfortable, because I didn’t like them... honestly I felt ugly. 

I got angry at myself, I questioned myself, I questioned my beauty and my self-worth. 

It was one of those moments, when I would rather run away and ignore my feelings instead of facing my emotions. 

As I realised this reaction, I sat down to meditate, to observe what was going on inside of me. I told myself that these emotions came up for a reason and it was an opportunity for me to learn and grow. Through this simple change in perspective, I started to feel grateful for the situation, it showed a part of me that needs healing.

Modeling has cultivated a lot of self-doubt and insecurities in me and has caused me to question myself a lot, especially my physical appearance. As a Model, I have had to get used to being criticised, judged and rejected on a daily bases. 

I am grateful for the chance to work as a model, it has opened many doors for me, but it has also been a constant mental challenge. 

We all know that we shouldn’t take things personally; however, if you are criticised regularly, there will come a point when you start to question yourself. 

I have seen many beautiful people (inside and out), doubting themselves, their potential or their self-worth. We may see a beautiful person and ask ourselves, ”how can they not like themselves?” In the end, how we look on the outside has little to do with how we feel on the inside.

So, instead of letting my emotions control me, I decided to take my power back and simply look at it and I asked myself “why do I feel this way? Where is it coming from? Do I believe it is true? What is it teaching me?”

Somewhere close to Jerusalem

Israel is my happy place, I feel always good there! I remember this moment, I wasn’t thinking about anything, I was just present

Every emotion that comes up is here to teach us something and to get a deeper understanding of ourselves. 

 I believe that “self-love” is about being honest with ourselves, look at our fears, emotions or insecurities, try to see what they’re teaching us and observe them with compassion and love.

In my case, it was to learn to accept and love myself as I am and to be aware of the voice that is saying “what’s wrong with me.”

In my yoga teacher training, we talked about writing down ”three things we did great today”, instead of ”what we did wrong.” I find that it is a beautiful concept, most of the time, we are just looking for our flaws and mistakes (in ourselves and others).

In order to rise above our fears and insecurities, we have to change our perspective and direct our focus towards the positive. I know it’s easier said than done to “focus on the positive,” but if we practice doing so, with openness and acceptance, we will find the good even in the hardest situation.

We can’t control the circumstances we are in, but we do have the power to change how we think and feel about them. It is not easy to face our fears, self-doubts or insecurities, but it is important to work through them and not ignore these feelings. It is about taking care of the world inside of us, which we will never be able to escape from.

I came to the realisation that I can’t let modeling define me or my self-worth. In the past, I have given it too much importance and power of me; now, it is a process of letting go and redirecting my focus. I have the power to choose what I belief, which in the end creates my reality. 

We identify with the things we do, but that’s not who we are. Our self-worth shouldn’t be defined by our profession, wealth or relationships, because we are something way beyond that.

Instead of letting ourselves be defined by something or someone, we should thrive to do and be better every day. Invest in the things we love, invest in our growth and become more conscious about our life. 

Life is a process of becoming a better human to give and serve more. We are all here for a reason!

This was my personal experience, which I felt sharing. We all have different problems and go through different struggles, through it all, may we all try to love and accept ourselves the way we are. 

My Path to Yoga

I was about 15 years old when I first got in touch with Yoga, back then I suffered from strong migraine attacks. My Doctor suggested that I try yoga for relaxation, on his recommendation I visited to my first Yoga Class. 

I was completely new to yoga and I remember I felt a bit funny doing the different postures, especially the breathing techniques. My Mum joined me for the class and I had to hold myself back to not starting to laugh. Nevertheless afterward I felt the benefits, I was more relaxed and simply felt good. I didn't practice regularly and with time I lost sight of the practice.

My next journey into yoga began in Sydney, two and a half years ago. One of the benefits of modeling is that I am able to travel the world for work. Luckily it brought me to Australia, which had a huge impact on my yoga journey.

Everything happens for a reason and if I look back on my life events, I see the connection in each of them. 

Typically as a model going to Australia, I stayed in Bondi Beach. Let me define Bondi for those who are not familiar with it.

Bondi is a beautiful tiny and fun hipster suburb in Sydney. It's full of healthy brunch places, coffeeshops (I love the coffee culture Down Under), Surfers and of course yoga studios.

From a disliking-coffee-person, I turned into a coffee-loving-yogi. Bondi has one of the most famous Australian beach called Bondi Beach. Dress Code in Bondi? Swimwear, barfoot or sports clothes. 

Australians also call it the ”Bondi Bubble” because you literally live in a bubble and you barley leave it. Honestly, I loved my little bubble, yes I got a little stuck there, but I had all I needed and I loved spending time in Bondi.

My friend motivated me to sign up for a Yoga membership next door. We ended up going every day, sometimes even twice a day.

Our morning routine became waking up early, getting an almond cappuccino and attending an early yoga class. Yes, it sounds cliche, but if I think back on it, it was such a great time and experience which still makes me smile. 

Bondi beach is a place, where people work out at 6 am or even earlier. I NEVER thought that I would be able to wake up that early just to go to a yoga class and I also had no intention of doing it. Guess what, after a while, I gave it a try. I woke up at 6 am to go to a Sunrise Yoga class.

I felt the magic of early morning hours and understood why people are in love with it.

It is a beautiful way to start the day with the sunrise, to see the first rays of light and watch how everything slowly wakes up. A sense of peace fills the air at that time. 

This experience taught me to be open to new experiences and try new things, especially if they are out of my comfort zone. I am happy I stepped out of my comfort zone, otherwise, I would have missed this wonderful experience. 

Now I say ”Yes I will try”, instead of ”No, I can't.”

I love the quote:  ”You are confined only by the walls you build yourself”

In the beginning, my main driving force to practice yoga was the physical benefits. I wanted to be in perfect shape and I knew that yoga would help me with that. My Practice was very fitness orientated. Through daily consistent practice, I felt not just a positive shift in my body, but with my overall well being. I felt more calm, content, peaceful and happy.

As time passed I recognized that yoga helped me on my path of reconnecting with my Body.

I found in yoga a way to heal my body and mind.

A long time I was fighting against my body and it was hard for me to accept my body as it was. My Body Image was negative, even though I was very thin. I was striving to achieve an unhealthy body shape and even if I reached a certain amount of weight it was never enough.

Through yoga, I started to listen to myself again and to be kind and compassionate with myself. It is very therapeutic to be on the mat, to move, to feel and to stretch my body.

After Australia, I kept on doing my own yoga practice at home and it became part of my daily routine.

I was very lucky to attend a yoga meditation retreat in Bali, which changed my life in a positive way. At the retreat, we only practiced Kundalini Yoga.

In Kundalini Yoga you practice different breathing exercises, physical postures and chanting and meditation to unlock and awaken the kundalini energy, which lies coiled, serpent-like, at the base of the spine. It is a powerful tool to reprogram your mind if practiced consistently. 

After Bali I went through many transformations, I stopped watching TV, started to read a variety of self-improvement, self-awareness, and spiritual books and started to meditate daily. I constantly increased and worked on my self-awareness and started to do more things that made me feel good about myself and be happy.

I learned, that the time you invest in yourself, is the best investment you can make. 

It was the first time that I practiced Kundalini Yoga, I personally love it. In my opinion, it is the most powerful and transforming style of yoga you can do.

On my retreat, I met two girls, who worked as yoga teachers, which I found very inspiring and I could imagine to do it as well.

It seemed like yoga started to follow me along my path. 

My experience in Bali encouraged me a lot to continue going my own way and listening to myself. I want to do things in my life, that feels good for me, which makes me feel alive and fulfills me.

I felt the urge to have a new experience, that's why I decided to go last summer to Istanbul. I wanted to go to a place, where I've never been before and where I don't know anyone. I wanted to be free and have no obligations towards others. Somehow I had Istanbul in my mind and I asked my agency to send me there for work. 

The process of organizing everything was quite fast and one month later I was on a plane to Istanbul. Funny enough my apartment was 10 mins by walk from a yoga studio (Cihangir Yoga). I remember that I jumped around in my apartment because it made me so happy.

Especially, because there was a special event on the upcoming weekend. The yoga studio where it took place, was quite far away. I decided to confront myself with a challenge and use public transportation. It took me over an hour to get there with the metro and tiny buses. It was definitely a unique experience and I quite enjoyed finding my way alone through a city with a population of 15 million people. When I arrived at the studio, I had to smile to myself.

I must really love yoga, to travel so far just to attend a class. 

I fell in love with the vibe of the yoga studio, I met wonderful people there as well.

The community aspect of yoga is another part that I love. I know wherever I go in this world, that I can find a place where I have the chance to meet like-minded people.

Yoga is very grounding for me, which I am in need of because I am traveling a lot and I constantly find myself in new environments. 

My six weeks in Istanbul were a wonderful experience. I practiced yoga one or two times a day, which helped me to improve and deepen my practice.

My love for yoga was constantly growing and I became more and more passionate about it. It makes me feel  good in my own body, it increases my creativity, my self-awareness and it helps me to connect with myself on a deeper level. 

My time in Istanbul strengthened my desire to do a yoga teacher training even more. My main intentions were to deepen my practice, I love any experience that transforms me and helps me grow.

Furthermore, as I mentioned before is that I found in Yoga a way to heal myself and I see many people who struggle with similar self-image problems as me.

I observe that many of us are disconnected from ourselves and our bodies.

Everything from society to media is limited to our physical appearance, to have the perfect body is kind of a status symbol. We define our self-worth based on our physical look, which is a loosing game. Nothing will ever be good enough or perfect enough.

There is no such thing as perfection and it is especially the imperfect things, that makes someone beautiful. It is the light, that someone radiates outwardly.

Yoga strengthens and connects you with your inner light. If you feel good in your own skin, you will radiate it outwards, no matter which size you wear.

Our body is a gift and we only have this one, so we better start to take care of it and love it.

I want to pass my yoga experience to other people and help them to feel good in their bodies.

I was looking for a long time for the right yoga teacher training. First, I intended to go for one month to somewhere like Bali. The problem was that most of those trainings are expensive, which I found difficult if I have never practiced with the teacher before. It is like in school, every teacher is different and has a different style, which may not always appeal to everyone. 

I knew, that my yoga studio in Istanbul offered a yoga teacher training with a duration of 8 months. Of course, this would have been my first choice, but I didn't know how to combine the training with modeling. Especially if I had to be there every second month. 

Well, here comes the lesson: surrender and trust! 

Somehow everything started to shift this year in April and I spontaneously had to go to Istanbul. I arrived exactly one week, before the yoga teacher training started, which is just once a year. It was obvious, that the universe presented it to me on a golden plate. I just had to take it... and I did! So far, it was the best decision I could make and I am very happy about it.

This event contained another lesson:  Anything is possible once we decide that IT IS POSSIBLE! 

I am excited to see what will happen on this journey and how teaching yoga will influence my life. All I can say is, that I am very grateful, that yoga came into my life. 

I highly recommend everyone to give yoga a try. Don't judge it after just one class, try different styles and teachers, you will find one that resonates with you; sometimes you just  have to meet the right teacher or visit the right studio. 

Remember, yoga is a process and you WILL feel the benefits over time. 

Yoga is your own personal journey!

Enjoy the ride!