Three Lessons

Life is an ongoing learning process, every experience and situation is shaping us. There is a lesson in everything and if we start to see and embrace them, they will help us grow.

Here are some lessons or better yet ‘realizations’ I had over the years, that I would love to share with you.

1. If you don't love yourself, no one else will!

I started Modeling at an age of 15 and it has been a tough business. First of all, I am very grateful that I have had the opportunity to do what I do, it opened many doors for me. Modeling gave me the opportunity to travel, to see the world and to expand my horizon. It has and continues to confront me with many challenges, which help me to grow. I wouldn't be where I am today without modeling.

BUT... it is a tough and superficial business where people judge and reject you on a daily bases. It causes You to question yourself A LOT and you always have to rebuild the belief in yourself. You have to develop a thick skin and try to not take things personal, which is very hard, and I am honestly still struggling with it.

My lesson from this whole experience is the importance how to truly love yourself. If you love yourself, you will radiate it outwards. Everybody has it, the chattering and criticizing voice in their head telling them things like: “You are not good enough” or “You will never be able to reach your goals”. The fact is, that this voice isn't serving you and instead is blocking you in many ways. Would you want to be friends with someone who is constantly trying to make you small? No, you would want to be friends with somebody who is listening to you and is up lifting.

I observed that many of my fears, insecurities and self limiting beliefs were based on my lack of self-love.

So what does it mean to love yourself? In my opinion, loving yourself means taking good care of yourself, which includes eating good food, taking care of your body, being active and listening to yourself. Furthermore, it is important to create healthy boundaries and learn to say no! I often find myself, having a hard time saying no, because I don't want to be impolite. Even though, if somebody is crossing your personal space, it is your right to say no. It seems hard at first, but by working to stand up for yourself, you will feel empowered.

Loving yourself also means becoming conscious about your self-talk!

We often don't realize how hard we are on ourselves! The negative self-talk seems normal to us, but by doing it that we disempower ourselves even more.

I learnt that you are the creator of your life and that you have the power to change your thoughts. If you can create disempowering thoughts, you are also able to create loving and supportive thoughts.

Ask yourself: “How do I want to feel?” And “Which thoughts and beliefs would support it?” It feels strange and like a lie at first, the negative voice will try to fight against it, but with time and dedication they will transform in a beautiful way.

I am working daily on becoming more conscious about my thoughts through journaling, meditation and affirmations. Of course some days I feel better than others, but it is about consistency and taking small steps that move you forward.

Finally, I would say that loving yourself is all about respecting yourself and that you make decisions that feel good for you.

I am curious what it means for you to love yourself?

2. People love to talk, no matter what you do!

It actually doesn't matter what you are doing, if you are working on a big career or you are just chilling out in life. If People want to talk about you, they will find a reason for it. I personally made peace with it and for me “the talk” is just mirroring their own insecurities.

Why should you invest your limited amount of energy in talking about other people if instead you could invest the time in yourself?

Furthermore, think about the amount of energy you wasted when you got upset about what other people said about you. It's simply not worth it, it is best to accept it and let it go. The next time when you are upset about something ask yourself: ”Is it worth disturbing my peace?”

It is a process and daily work to slowly let go of what other people think, but it is also liberating.

We grew up learning to seek the approval of others, to feel accepted and worthy. The truth is that we will never be able to meet other peoples expectations, it is just limiting us and holding us back. It is about breaking free from other people’s expectations and starting to listen to your Soul.

Live your life for YOU and for nobody else.

You don't owe anyone an explanation for what you're doing in your life.

Just go your own way, do the things that feel right for you and stay true to yourself!

3. The time you invest in yourself, is the best investment you can make.

I fell in love with the process of learning about myself and I became very passionate about self-growth and self-discovery. It is one reason why I created this blog, to share my experiences and to inspire and motivate others on their journey.

Our whole life people told us what to do, how we should behave, what is appropriate and what is not. We believe what we have been taught and that it is the only truth. We are living our life, but we always have the feeling that something is missing. The missing piece is the knowledge of ourselves.

We invest so much time in learning about all kinds of things that are outside of ourselves, but we barely invest any time to look inwards.

Self discovery for me, is about questioning everything you have learned and that you think you are. It is about stepping back, starting from zero and being open to everything new as well as questioning your beliefs and discovering where your heart starts to tingle.

I believe, that if you choose your own beliefs and find the things that feel right for you it will give you true meaning to your life. Furthermore, I feel that everybody has unique talents and life is about discovering and embracing them. If you work for something, that you are passionate about and want to share with the world, it will fulfill you on a deeper level.

There is more to life than just the typical eat, work and sleep cycle.

What I love about investing in myself is that, it helps me to change my perspective with challenging situations in my life. I once read the quote: ”You can’t control the events and circumstances, but you can control your reactions to them”. This is so true because you always have a choice on how to react. What comes around, goes around. If you learn to consciously respond instead of unconsciously react, you will make your life way easier. I learned that I always have the choice to perceive a situation in a positive or negative way and the negative way, will never be beneficial for me or the people around me.

Every Experience is a chance to grow and I feel that the Universe is always presenting us with situations that contain a lesson within, even if we often don't want to see the lesson.

These three lessons are based on my experiences and are from my point of view. We all perceive life in a different way and I think it is beautiful to share it. Everybody has something to say and we can learn from each other's experiences.

I am curious what your life lessons are? Share in the comments below xx

Create a Morning Routine to Have a Sweet Day

I became a huge fan of having a morning routine, starting the day in a good way determines your whole day.

Imagine a day when you wake up, you push the snooze button five times to get a bit more sleep, you check your phone and you read a not nice message from a friend. After checking out other people’s life on Instagram, you jump under the shower, you grab a quick bite and coffee while you realize you are already late to work. So your day continues, you rush out of the house, you are stuck in traffic and when you arrive at work, you are already in a bad mood. 

Now imagine a day when you wake up before your alarm goes on, you leave your phone on flight mode, you sit down to do a conscious breathing exercise and you give yourself the time to feel your body, after a night of sleep. You go to the kitchen, put on your favorite music, make a coffee, get a notebook and write down some Intentions for the day.  After Breakfast, you make yourself ready and go relax to work. 

If you have the choice, which day would you choose? Probably the second wouldn't you?

Here is the thing, you do have the choice! Humans are creatures of habit, often we are stuck in a routine, that isn't serving us and we know it deep down. We want to change something, but we have an excuse to feel better: „I don't have time“. Which is not necessarily true, if you would get out of bed 20 minutes earlier, for example, you would have more time.

Yes, it is hard to change something in our routine, because we did the same routine for the last five years. Furthermore, we would need to step out of our comfort zone. 

So why would you want to change something? Simply, because it is good for you and I can tell you from my experiences, it will have a huge positive impact on your life.

Five years ago, in the morning my first move was switching on the TV. I made Breakfast and ate it in bed, while it was hard for me to get up because my bed was warm and cozy (especially in Winter). Most of the time, I chilled too long in bed, watched some random TV Shows and had to rush to leave the house. 

I felt restless, tired and wasn't really conscious of how my morning controlled my whole day.

Everything started to change when I got more into Yoga and started to increase my overall awareness. I became aware of how different i felt in my body and mind because of Yoga and Meditation. I started to listen to myself and saw how my unhealthy habits controlled me. 

Furthermore, I began to read a variety of books, about self-awareness, self-improvement and spiritual books (for example The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle). 

I just felt I want to change something, so step by step I started to integrate new things into my morning and day. 

Nowadays I love my mornings and the time for myself, I feel more productive, content and happier throughout the day.

How does my morning routine look like?

1. I wake up early, most of the time I wake up before my alarm goes on. By waking up early I create more time to do the things that nurture me, so I can really dedicate my time to Meditation for example, without feeling pressured, that I have to leave the house soon.

2. I drink hot lemon water. Drinking hot lemon water in the morning has many benefits from improving digestion, hydration, better skin quality, and other things. Personally, I just enjoy drinking it first in the morning and I love the taste. 

3. Journaling. I write down things I am grateful for and I set my Intentions for the day. I am guided by questions like which Qualities do I want to embody, what do I want to achieve in the next 24 hours or how do I want to feel?

4. I meditate every morning and I love it. Meditation sets the tone of my day. One of my favorite is a Guided Meditation by Deepak Chopra (you can find it on Youtube). 

5. Yoga Flow. Yoga transformed my life in many positive ways. I became very passionate about it, that's why I recently started to do my Yoga Teacher Training. Yoga helps me to wake up my whole System and it feels great to move my Body, after sleeping.

6. Breakfast. I am a Breakfast person, it is actually my favorite meal of the day, that's why I always try to make enough time for it.

7. Since two months, I am actually taking an ice-cold shower every morning. Trust me, I never believed, that I would be able to do it when people suggested it to me. One day, I stepped out of my comfort zone, now I really enjoy it and it helps me to truly wake up. 

The length of my morning routine depends on the time I have to leave the house. Even on days, where I have to leave earlier, I set my alarm early enough to start my day in a positive way.

My personal morning routine is supposed to be an example and Inspiration. Every person is different, so choose things that feel good for you! Furthermore, choose a ritual, that makes you feel excited to wake up in the morning.

If it is hard for you to meditate, just try to do something mindfully. Meditation is not just sitting on the floor with your eyes closed, even mindfully preparing food can be therapeutic and is a form of Meditation.

Think about your why? Why do you want to change something? Why do you want to start your day positive? Use your why as your driving force! 

Try it out and transform your life.

Find Quiet Moments in Daily Life

We are living in a fast moving world and we are constantly rushing from appointment to appointment. Going to Work, doing Sports, taking care of the family, meeting friends and sometimes we do that all in the same day. But don’t we forget something important along the way? Exactly ourselves. 

We often find our selves feeling lost with many questions in our head. Who am I? What am I doing with my life? Am I actually happy? I guess many people can resonate with these questions. 

How should we know what we lack if we are never barely spending time alone and listen to ourselves?

Imagine your friend is not feeling well, you would sit down with your friend and listen to her or him. So why don’t you do that with yourself? I guess one of the reasons is that we never learned how to deal with our thoughts and emotions. No one ever taught us, maybe you were the blessed and your parents showed you different self-regulation techniques. But let’s be honest even our parents often don’t know how to consciously deal with themselves, because no one ever taught them either. It’s a trap.

Instead of dealing with ourselves, we tend to suppress our emotions and hide them by putting a mask on to protect ourselves. Meanwhile, we are keeping ourselves busy to avoid time alone and when we are alone we tend to spend our time on our phone or watching Netflix. 

We are constantly giving out energy, but not a lot of energy is coming back in. 

You have a limited amount of energy each day, you want to make sure that you are using your energy wisely and not always running on low battery.

I once read a quote: “You should offer yourself the same amount of time as you offer to other”, it resonated with me. I believe if you have thirty minutes for your friend, you should also have thirty minutes for yourself. 

You can start by doing small rituals where you spend some time and integrate them into your day. It can be anything that you enjoy doing and helps you to recharge.

Below I will share some tools and activities, that I love to do. 

I observed that if I am feeling good about myself, I find myself being more fair, loving and kind to others and it’s easier for me to respond to situations, instead of reacting. 

Here are five of my favorites:

1. Meditation is a powerful tool for me and it’s actually the first thing I do after waking up. To start your day with awareness (without checking your phone) is in my opinion, one of the best things you can do. Your morning determines your whole day. Any time of the day is great to meditate, I personally prefer mornings and evenings. Start with 5-10 mins a day and slowly build it up. You can listen to a guided meditation on YouTube, Binaural Beats, relaxing music or just sitting in Silence. 

2 Get some Solitude time! Go out for a walk without your phone. You can be home alone but if you're constantly texting with your friends it’s not really effective. Learn the art of how to be alone. I know it can be uncomfortable from time to time, but it’s often the uncomfortable moments in life that help us grow the most. If you find yourself being uncomfortable by being alone, challenge and observe yourself to find out the root of it.

3 Nurture yourself with activities you love to do. It can be anything from having a coffee while reading a good book, watching your favorite movie or going out for a run. Simply things that you enjoy doing. 

4 Journaling is one of my favorite self-reflection tools. Ask yourself questions like “What makes me happy?”, “What is holding me back?”, “Which kind of person do I want to become?”, “Are the people around supportive or bring me down?”.

Journaling helps me to become aware of my thought patterns, often I realised that many thoughts, beliefs, and fears are not actually mine. We unconsciously pick up many thoughts and beliefs of the environment that we live in. By giving yourself the time, to create a space where you can differentiate and filter what’s going on in our mind, you might realise that many beliefs are not coming from yourself. For example, often I realised ”hey wait a minute that's my mothers fear not mine”!

5 Being in Nature! Nature is healing. I love to walk in the forest or in a Parc, it feels like pushing a reset button. Go out of your apartment, get some fresh air and move your body. I know it’s comfortable and cozy on the couch, but getting out of your comfort zone will create a change.

Maybe you could resonate with some of the listed things and got inspired. Simply find your own ways and rituals that are helping you to built a healthier relationship with yourself. Enjoy and have fun!

Remember we all have 24 hours each day, no one has more or less, so it's your choice how you use your time. 

P.S. Don't pressure yourself with high expectations, be compassionate with yourself. Step by step, every minute counts and it's already an achievement.